Why Emotional Loops Repeat and Why a Simple Check In Can Begin to Change Them
Why We Keep Reacting in the Same Ways Have you ever noticed yourself having the same reaction to a familiar situation and thought, “Here we go again”? Perhaps someone asks for your help and you say yes, even though your diary is already groaning. Perhaps a slightly vague email leads to a mental rerun of […]
The Blame Game: Nobody Wins
Ever noticed how quickly blame appears when things get tense? One awkward moment, one missed deadline, one crossed wire at home, and suddenly everyone is starring in CSI: Kitchen Edition. Somebody has to be at fault. Somebody has to explain themselves. Somebody has to carry the uncomfortable feeling that something has gone wrong. Before long, […]
The Trapeze Life: Why the Space Between Tasks Matters
Ever feel as though your day is one big trapeze routine? You launch from emails to errands, leap from “What are we having for dinner?” to “Did I remember that deadline?”, and let go of one meeting in mid air while hoping the next one catches you. By the time the day is over, you […]
Big Boys Don’t Cry. Or Do They?
“Big boys don’t cry.” It is one of those phrases that many men will recognise, even if nobody ever said it to them exactly like that. Sometimes it arrived directly. Sometimes it was a raised eyebrow, a quick “You’re alright,” before anyone had checked whether they were, or the sense that tears were something to […]
Being Liked, Belonging, and the Stories We Tell Ourselves
Most of us like being liked. That is not vanity. It is not weakness. It is not evidence that we need to become cooler, more detached people who claim they are perfectly happy on a mountain with no phone signal and only a flask for company. Wanting to feel accepted is deeply human. We want […]
Feeling Trapped? Maybe the Walls Are Not as Solid as They Look
Have you ever looked at your life and quietly thought, “Is this it?” It can be an uncomfortable question, partly because feeling trapped does not always look dramatic from the outside. Sometimes it looks like a life that is broadly okay. You are working, meeting responsibilities, looking after people, getting through the week and doing […]
Waiting at the Bus Stop Called Someday
There is a kind of relationship many people quietly find themselves in, where one person is waiting for the other person to change. Not the small things. Not “I wish they would stop leaving socks in places no sock should ever be.” The deeper things. “When they finally communicate better.” “When they are ready to […]
When Life Gives You Lemons, You Do Not Always Need to Throw a Citrus Themed Party
There is an old piece of advice that says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It is cheerful, memorable and probably responsible for more fridge magnets than any other phrase in history. But let us be honest. Sometimes life is not politely handing you lemons in a little basket with a ribbon. Sometimes it […]
Why Your Brain Hosts a TED Talk at 2am
It is 2:17am. You are exhausted. Your body is horizontal. Your room is quiet. Your brain, however, has apparently booked the main stage. Suddenly it is replaying a conversation from 2016, drafting an email you will never send, solving global economics, revisiting an awkward comment you made in Tesco and wondering whether penguins have knees. […]
Interpretation and Perspective
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” It sounds like one of those quotes you nod at, perhaps share with a knowing expression, and then move on from before the kettle has boiled. But if you sit with it for a moment, it starts to explain quite a lot […]